WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING....

QUOTES, TOASTS , CURSES AND BLESSINGS 

In memory of Oscar Wilde who passed away on November 30th. 1900:

"Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening." 

JOKE OF THE WEEK 

An old classic that's well worth repeating:

The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. Mother," the nuns asked with earnest, "Please give us some wisdom before you leave us. "She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow."

A BIT OF THE WIT

A Kerryman gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is  between Limerick to Cork. "About 2 hours," says the driver. "Well,"  says the Kerryman "then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?" The irate driver says "It's still about 2 hours, boyo. Why'd ye think there'd be a difference?" "Ah, ," says the Kerryman, "It's only a  week between Christmas and New Year's, but it it's an awfully  long time between New Year's and Christmas!"